Prayer of My Heart Tonight

I'm not going through the easiest of times right now. In fact, in some areas of my life I'm just plain struggling. (With all respect, please do not ask. I do not currently want to share details.)

 The following is my heart cry tonight. I know it is all song lyrics. Nothing voices the heart's silent cry like music.

     'Cause when the answers and the truth take different sides, will you still find me? Will you still see me through smoke?


     Let my praise be your welcome let my song be your sign
     I am here for you, I am here for you
     Let your breath come from heaven, fill my heart with your life
     I am here for you, I am here for you
     Let my shout be your anthem, your renown fill the sky
     I am here for you, I am here for you
     Let your word move in power, bring what's dead back to life
     I welcome you with praise, I welcome you with Praise
     Almighty God of Love, you're welcome in this place.


  All is lost
  Find him there, find him there
  After night
  Dawn is there, dawn is there
  After all falls apart
  He is there, he is there


  Oh the Glory of it all is:
  He came here to rescue us
  So we may live
  For the Glory of it all

The Method: Approving Changes

Breakaway

  I recently stumbled upon a blog that I found… well, depressing, to be honest. My very first clue was at the very top of her blog, the very first thing a blog-reader sees: Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her house and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

  Her blog archives are organized by category:

  Being a Homemaker

  Being a Parent

  Being Married… Frugal… Healthy… Organized… Crafty…

 Most telling of all? Her ‘About Me’ blurb:

“I'm a Christian wife and a stay-at-home mom to a first grader, a pre-schooler and an adorable baby boy. My blog began as a journal about my world, but has transitioned to accommodate a growing audience. I am passionate about being a good "Household Manager" and love to encourage women and parents in the areas of cooking, organizing and frugal living.”

  This precious lady has succeeded. She fits the mold 100%. She has had every precious, treasured part of her heart stolen, then crammed and stuffed it into the mold of a Good-Christian-Conservative-Wife-and-Mother. And my heart breaks for her.

  Why the big deal? What exactly am I getting at here? What is this ‘mold’ I’m talking about?

  This is what I’m talking about… Where is this lady? She is buried beneath attaining Proverbs 31. Who is she? No one really knows. She is defined by positions: Wife. Mother. Homemaker. Let me be clear- these are Important. Invaluable. Priceless. But not all there is- not a final definition.

  But what does her heart bleed over? What are her passions and dreams, the essence of her. Not the part of her that is a homemaker, mother, and wife. No, that part is loud and clear… because that’s all the mold allows.

  I mean her. The core of her heart. The part that screams in the silence of the night that there is more. That she was created for more. That she can make a difference. That her essence can not be defined by her position, or by the boundaries the church places around her, or by the requirements society places on her.

  The part that screams that the most precious pieces of her are being killed by the mold.

  I’m not just talking about one blogger. I’m talking about you. About us. I pray that you find the strength and ability to see past the mold, to see what could be.

I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly

Do what it takes till I touch the sky

Gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change

And Breakaway.

                                                                                    Breakaway, Kelly Clarkson

Inside the Inbetween

Heads up: I didn’t really write this on New Year’s Eve, 2010. I actually wrote this in July, 2011. I love the date changing capabilities. Thanks Blogger!

I’m catching you on my life, and this is the best way I can think to do that. Or at least, it’s the way I feel like doing it.

So, back to New Year’s Eve. 2010 was crazy. wild. weird. a year to remember. a once in a lifetime experience.

We started the Colorado Trail on Monday, June 7^th and it was incredible! I cannot even explain how amazing our time on the trail was. Unfortunately, it was also short-lived. My knee was injured Friday, and thankfully we made it to a trailhead Saturday. Two extremely nice guys picked us up and drove us all the way back to Littleton to our Tahoe. They really were heaven-sent!

Of course we were extremely disappointed. Heart broken really. We had been so set and so excited about our journey that to have it cut short by something beyond our control was terrible! We weighted our options and decided that our summer was only ruined if we let it be. So we created plan B! This is how plan B looked:

15000 miles in 2 months. We slept in our Tahoe most of the time and took showers at National Parks and KOA Campgrounds. Oh, and we lived almost entirely off of McDonald’s Dollar Menu. I can’t stand the smell of Mickey D’s anymore. Yuck.

After wrapping up our Grand Tour and visiting family for a few weeks we came home to our warm, homey… extended stay hotel room. Interesting to say the least. We moved in to Colorado on August 7^th, and El found a job pretty quickly. He started on August 15^th and we moved in to our rented townhouse on the 19^th. The whole process didn’t take very long really.

We met and became good friends with Bubba and Paula. They’re pretty amazing. I think they pretty much rock.

I got a job at WAY-FM, a Christian radio station, at the end of September.

Life continued. That brings us to now, New Year’s Eve.

My oldest- little sister will turn 16.

In the next half a year, El’s friend Chris will move in with us, and then move out.

We will meet new friends Jason and Rachel. They are amazing. 

We will be under contract for a house for over 3 months, and still not know if we actually be able to buy it or not.

We will visit El’s sister and her family in Reno, NV for Easter.

My mom and sisters will come and live with us for about 6 weeks.

Life is amazing.

Weight in Pictures

Two weeks away!

  Here is a sampling of what we'll be carrying on the Colorado Trail:

Yeah it's a lot. And this isn't all.

Honestly, it's only about 2/3rds of what we'll be taking.

We're taking boots and crocs, so our feet will have a chance to dry out at night. Also, we each have a light down coat and a rain jacket.

Cool Whip containers to eat out of, a water filter and back-up water drops, headlights, and about 178K other things.

My muscles hurt already.

Pack Shock

  Wow. We just tried out our backpacks for the first time. Wow. I knew it was going to be heavy and big, but to see just how big, and feel just how heavy that pack is... WHEW!!!

  Mine weighs about 35 lbs, about 3 1/2 feet tall and bigger around than I am! I put it on and El had to help me adjust it, then I walked down our three flights of stairs and back up, and my back is still sore! 485 miles? What exactly am I thinking? We’ve gone to a local reservoir a few times and walked the track around it. It’s a three mile track and I’m so tired at the end! This is us on the track:

 

 

  I am also shocked at just how much stuff we have to stick in that bag! Tons of food, clothes (only about one extra set, but they take up a lot of room), rope, toiletries, camp shoes, sleeping bag, stove, fuel, on and on. It truly seems like the list never ends. We still have a lot to buy, and we haven’t decided on water purification system yet. We saw some at Bass Pro we liked, but we aren't sure yet.

  Elliot discovered that my pack has a built in waterproof cover, so that's a blessing! We have yet to get El's pack. Mine is North Face, but he likes REI, or a Kelty.

  Preparations go on!

The Colorado Trail

  After my last post, I’m sure some of you are wondering what in the world happened to our brains. Let me explain the background on what exactly we're doing…
 

  The Colorado Trail starts in Littleton, CO (which is part of the South Denver Metro area), and ends in Durango, CO. Although it only takes about 4 hours to drive the distance, we will be on the trail for around 5 weeks, maybe 6. The CT is 485 miles long, not including side journeys or hikes into town. The average elevation is just over 10,000 feet, and the trail crosses six wilderness areas, eight mountain ranges, 7 river systems, and tops out at above 13 thousand feet.
 

  We'll be heading out around the beginning of June, hope to be back to civilization about the second week of July. We originally thought about following El's sister’s footsteps and hiking the Appalachian Trail, but since we're planning on moving to Colorado this summer, we decided to look check out trails there. I’m actually much happier with this choice than hiking the AT.

  A lot of people have asked us why on earth we would want to do something this crazy... I mean, this is a pretty ridiculous plan. Not to mention the no job, no house part, the trail itself is rather inhospitable. No reliable source of safe water, massive lightning storms forming daily, and the literal possibility of enduring heat stroke, hypothermia, hail, rain, lightening, snow, and altitude sickness… all in one day, makes the trail sound like a rather formidable foe! But what is life if lived the safe route? People live and die on the safe route everyday. I’d much rather take the adventure filled road.

  Besides, this is something we really want to do, and what better time? Since we're moving anyway we won't have to worry about paying rent while we're gone, or taking time off work. We're young, and as of yet have no children so we're jumping on this opportunity!